The Woeful Gonzales Record
By Anthony D. Romero

An Open Letter to Members of the Senate:

As you move towards the debate and no-confidence vote on Attorney General Alberto Gonzales I hope you will carefully review his woeful record and its recurring theme: Alberto Gonzales as George W. Bush’s Number One “Yes” Man.

From the beginning, Gonzales has sought to shape the law according to the president's wishes. Through his legal maneuvering, he has authorized criminal behavior as White House counsel and refused to prosecute that same criminal behavior as attorney general. He created and navigated legal avenues for the president and his administration to use torture and indefinite detention. And now, as attorney general, he has refused to investigate those programs.

As the ACLU details in a newly updated report on the Attorney General’s civil liberties record, he has abdicated his responsibility to protect the rights of Americans, and exercises a cynical view of what he seems to consider petty matters like the rule of law and the Constitution. Calls for Congressional oversight yield only uncooperative and misleading testimony.

But the testimony of others has been far more revealing. Take the riveting words of former Deputy Attorney General James Comey, who described how, like in a scene out of a bad novel, then-White House counsel Gonzales and then-White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card paid a March 2004 nighttime visit on a gravely ill and heavily sedated Ashcroft, lying in his intensive care unit hospital bed. Gonzales and Card tried unsuccessfully to persuade Ashcroft to reauthorize President Bush’s domestic surveillance program,

which the Justice Department had just determined was illegal. Is browbeating a gravely ill man in pursuit of a lawless policy the action of a responsible and upright office holder? Of course not -- although it does yield the startling nugget that, for a brief shining moment, Attorney General John Ashcroft was actually on the ACLU’s side of an issue.

And consider how Gonzales has repeatedly stood up in favor of the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, a facility where the denial of habeas corpus and harsh, indefinite detention has shamed the U.S. internationally. Look too at “yes” man counsel Gonzales, writing a 2002 memorandum that referred to some Geneva Convention restrictions as “quaint” and the portion on questioning enemy prisoners “obsolete.”

That’s exactly the sort of attitude that led him -- in both the White House and at Justice -- to subordinate and twist the law that permitted actual torture and abuse on America’s watch, while allowing high-level government officials to get off scot-free.

There’s much more. Under Gonzales, the Justice Department has failed to pursue violations of civil rights and voting rights laws. He has failed to investigate and prosecute criminal acts committed by civilians in the torture or abuse of detainees, failed to investigate and prosecute criminal acts and violations of the law resulting from the warrantless spying program, and championed renewal of the Patriot Act despite widespread bipartisan civil liberties concerns. His department’s own inspector general discovered that the FBI underreported, misused and otherwise abused the Patriot Act’s National Security Letter provisions.

The attorney general failed to investigate possible perjury by a top general about abusive interrogation techniques, his department reversed the findings of its panel of experts that a Georgia voter identification law would discriminate against minorities, and further failed to uphold his duties as attorney general by forcing out experienced career attorneys in Justice’s Civil Rights Division and replacing them with less experienced, political loyalists.

This didn’t just start in Washington, of course. Back home in Texas, Gonzales drafted the infamous clemency memos for Governor Bush, which failed to mention key factors in each case including evidence of innocence that supported clemency for death row inmates.

The president and the attorney general are a tight-knit crew. The attorney general provides tailor-made legal support for the president; the president reciprocates with unwavering political support. It’s a cozy relationship for those two, but disastrous for our nation and its rule of law. “No confidence” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The quickest way to change the world is to be of service to others. Show that your love can make a difference in the lives of people and thereby someone else's love can make a difference in your life. By each of us doing that and working together we change the world one inner person at a time. (Dannion Brinkley)

After suffering severe pain about five years ago I soon found myself in deep shock. As the shock progressed I came to a crossroads, one way was to continue as a human animal and the other was to become a much finer and higher vibrating energy. The next logical step, I felt.

I really wanted to go into the peace and calm that had enveloped me, very much did I want to be a part of a higher energy form. In analizing the pro and con of what I should do under these particular circumstances, however, I came to the following conclusion: Go back to being a human. I have the responsilibity of six children and a wife. I am their only provider.

I also knew that by taking this step, or any step for that matter, I would, once my human form became unusuable, go to that plane of faster vibrating energy. It's only logical because once we dump our flesh which is a hundred of so pounds of heavy mass then our energy will by nature and the laws of physics, vibrate faster. So fast in fact that the lowly human, flesh tearing, cow milking animal will not be able to see that frequency. That's good because they'd try to screw that up too. (Just a lillte joke there.)

I really wanted to go on to the next plane as I lay close to what most would call death. I dwelled there as long as I could because a good place is mighty hard to leave. I saw that the root of all life in the universe was energy, that all energy was related and equal. There is no energy in the universe that would want or need worship and the possibilities of energy are unlimited. The human species of animal is not by far the highest form life can attain. If it were the highest attainable form then we'd be in a world of hurt.

All in all the experience was a good one and the feeling of having had a powerful mental climax stayed with me for several weeks. It was the extraordinary life experience that caused me to think about life on a different level. -Charles Williams

Another "Tommy's" NDE

My NDE occurred almost 22 years ago, in November of 1972. At the time, I had never heard of the term "NDE" or even the phenomena of the near-death experience. There was no obvious trauma involved in my experience, and consequently I had absolutely no frame of reference in which to place what had happened to me.

I did not know ( and I still don't really) what is the true nature of this experience. I was so afraid, my understanding of reality was so shaken, that I told no one of it for ten years, and even then I only told my wife and her sister. Seeing others "come out" and the availability of the anon server have enabled me to share this finally.

Unfortunately ( and another reason i've never told many people ) my story began with lsd and pot. I was attending a concert and the drugs and music got me extremely worked up. At some point I got the overwhelming urge to go upstairs to the bathroom and shut myself in one of the stalls. Everything was very unreal at this point, but I attribute that to the acid. Once I had sat down on the toilet, the experience began in earnest.

I had taken acid many times before and had never experienced leaving my body in this manner. I could clearly see myself sitting on the toilet for a short time, and then I rapidly "ascended" or expanded away from it. The term "expanded" is important to attempt to describe the feeling. It was as if I had been in a dark prison all my life, hobbled, and then suddenly released into the wide open sunlight.

But even this is a woefully inadequate description. As I ascended I began to "unfold". Time and space were attributes of the physical world that I left behind. There was no time or linearity where I was. Everything just was. There were no words. I was just "being". Primarily an emotional being. I was in ecstasy. I had escaped pain, work, loss, etc. I was free. Now as this occurred long ago, unfortunately some of the details have been obscured by time. But I do remember being in the presence of a love like none I have ever known before or since.

This love seemed to come from a group of beings, there seemed to be about 5 but I caouldn't really be sure. All I knew was they were intelligent, they loved me, and they weren't human. They existed outside time, outside the physical world. I felt a peace unlike any other, perhaps "The peace that passeth all understanding". It was indescribable unfortunately.

The beings had no form, other than perhaps light. I felt like I was "home". This was where I had come from, this was where I belonged. At that point, all I wanted was to stay as I was forever. I felt as if I was in the presence of God.

There was some communication between us. The beings told me ( but no words were used ) that they loved me. They also told me that it wasn't my time yet, that I would have to go back. And although this was the worst news that I could imagine, I remember being only mildly disappointed, which is outrageous if you think about it.

They also told me that the reason I had to go back was that there was something that I was to be involved in that they wanted to happen, but I was not told what that was. I was also told not to worry, that whatever happens, no matter what, is meant to happen. This has been a major source of confusion in my life. I know there was other communication but I'm unsure what it was, so rather than report something inaccurate, I'll just omit it.

As I was told I would have to come back, I began to recede back into my physical self. Someone else used the phrase "being poured into a funnel" and this is a very good description. I felt as if my formless self, which had no limits, no anything, was being "stuffed" back into my body. My spirit was being hooked back into time and space and all the accompanying hobbles.

As I regained consciousness and became aware of my (mundane) surroundings, I left the bathroom and tried to leave the auditorium but all the doors were locked. Now normally I would be very nervous and afraid about being somewhere that I wasn't supposed to be, i.e. a closed auditorium.

But I wasn't. Some measure of the peace that had accompianed me on my journey remained with me still. I heard a janitor cleaning up the stage and I approached him and asked to be let out. *He* was very nervous about how I had gotten in the auditorium:) I felt that my calm demeanor somehow calmed him and after I explained that I had "drank too much" and passed out in the bathroom, he let me out. I then called a friend to come get me and waited on the sidewalk in front of the auditorium. This was approximately 1am.

The concert had ended around 11pm I was told. This means my experience lasted almost 2 hours! Anyway, as I was waiting, a police car pulled up and the officer proceeded to question me. Again, normally I would be extremely nervous being interrogated like this, but I was completely calm and not at all afraid. The police seemed satisfied with my explanation and left.

My friend showed up and took me home. One other thing I remember now that I was "told" by the beings was to tell no one of what I had seen. My friend, who is interested in the supernatural was very frustrated by my reticence in relating my experience. I kept it secret for a very long time, but now it seems as if there is no reason for it to remain a secret, as so many others have related similar experiences, I have tempered my conceit regarding the experience somewhat, and I have a much clearer understanding of the context in which the experience took place.

That is to say, I no longer believe God plucked me from the earth as his "chosen" but rather that I was such a fool as to overindulge to the point of nearly killing myself.

As I said earlier, at the time I had never heard of an "NDE". I was totally mystified as to the meaning of the experience. Over time I became extremely afraid and paranoid about it. I thought perhaps that I had some secret knowledge that might get me hurt if anyone found out about it.

I deeply mistrusted the information my senses were giving me about the nature of reality. In short, I suspect I went insane for awhile. I should also add that, subsequent to the NDE I did fall into a depression of sorts, with all my senses feeling dead and lifeless, perhaps due to comparing mundane experience with divine experience.

That's it. As to readings, I would recommend _Life At Death_, by Ken Ring.

One poster asked about behavior changes subsequent to the NDE. For me, there were a few. First, I never willingly did acid again. I also became very serious about trying to make my life all that it could be. I began to study marital arts, zen, philosophy, psychology. I began to exercise in earnest. I got an MBA in marketing and took over the family business.

For the first time in my life I felt as if my life truly meant something and I felt an obligation to the loving being I had met to put my best efforts into making myself the best person I could be. Love did that. All my life I had been neglected in certain key ways, I had not cared much about myself or living. My NDE turned that around 180 degrees. Or more properly, I should say that this unbelievable love experience had turned around 21 years of neglect.

I would like to address the poster who said something about the fact that NDEers have the attitude "I've had an NDE and I know it all". I wouldn't say that I felt that I knew it all, but the fact that I had an unshakable belief in the *validity* of my experience, that no mundane quasi-scientific rationalization of the experience was sufficient to explain what had happened; this could be perceived as having that "know-it-all" attitude.

However, I will admit to a feeling of being *vastly* superior to those who had not been "chosen" as I had. Wouldn't you, given the nature of the experience?? But, remember, I did not lording it over anyone, and in fact I think this is why I was told not to tell anyone.

If I had I am certain I would have done it with a definite "holier than thou" attitude. Now when I tell it, I remember that my experience comes as a result of weakness, overindulgence, and accidently almost killing myself. Reflecting on this is quite humbling enough to remove any illusions I may have about my own moral superiority:)

Finally (:)), my heartfelt thanks to Mark for starting this group. It has allowed me to get back in touch with something that had obsessed my every waking thought for many many years subsequent to the experience, but lately had been almost forgotten. The act of writing this down has brought back many details..

Irate's NDE
> (Scott Roberts) writes: > I've been having email discussions and seen at least 2 posts here that > indicate that NDErs are very skittish about sharing their experience. > Does anybody know the reasons for this? I would greatly appreciate > any advice or ideas. > --------------

Well, my boy, I can give it to you straight. I don't know who you are or why you are even interested in this stuff but I will try to fill you in. I read some stuff you said to a girl a few posts back and I even checked your web site.

A bunch of arrow heads and stuff. I did not see the NDE post you mentioned but that is all right. I also read all that metaphysical hogwash about let's just all wrap ourselves in love and kissy huggy.... off into the sunset.

I can even add some about the Egyptians sealing their kings in stone boxes just long enough to suffacate, have an NDE and be revived. Kind of a prelude to the glories of walking with Osirus...but I won’t.

So lets get started. First of all I am about 50, I am an out-of-work systems analyst who worked 7 years on the SDI program. I am a practiceing Cathloic and was a Baptist at the time of the NDE. That’s right, Virginia, I had one. Actually, I had one and a half which I will explain later. My expierence resulted from a spell of vertigo which caused me to step over the edge of an almost straight 200 foot drop.

I bounced off the rocks two times and came to rest nowhere near the bottom of a much deeper hole. It is called Stratobowl, if you care. So, several hours later I was duly delivered to the emergency room at ELLSWORTH AFB. SO DAKOTA. This was in 1967. I almost bled to death from a head wound en route.

Of particular importance is that upon arrival at or near the base gate I had the NDE. When I came back and awakened in the base hospital room I was aware of everything around me and wanted something for pain and a cigarette...got neither one. BUT check this sports fans...I DID HAVE A HALUCINATION!!

This is NOT to be confused with the NDE which happened prior. I had both the same afternoon. I have had other mind experiences also (spent a year in Viet Nam).I say this just to show you that I can tell the difference between an NDE, a bad dream, and my butt.

I netted 6 weeks in the hospital, one week in ICU, three of the most pain-filled days of my life because head injuries do not get painkillers. I had short term amnesia for abour two weeks, could not identify lists of things like what are breakfast foods, or who I had talked to this morning. Then I went home for four weeks.

Well, here is a blow by blow of the NDE. I was conscious through several hours of the Rapid City Fire Department’s effort to rescue me. In the back of their van. There was no little hospital there like we have now. I was strapped into one of those rescue litters and transported back to the base. This took about twenty-five minutes.

I lost consciousness somewhere along the way so I missed most of the trip. Somehow the inner me became aware. The outter me was just a lump. I heard a distant sound and decided that it was a faint heartbeat. Another one came, weaker and slower, then another, softer yet.

Then I decided that they were my heartbeats and they were about to stop altogether. I checked breathing and it had stopped. Note- that I noticed these things. That’s all, I just noticed them. I was dying and really didn’t care, was not afraid, and just sort of wondered what was next.

Next was the tunnel. It was a black tunnel through a blacker sky littered with stars off in the distance. The tunnel turned and twisted like a waterslide and continued for a long time. After awhile, I just kind of plopped out at the other end with two really washed out watercolor images of me. Then I saw it.

I had seen the luminesence (if you are going to bitch about spelling I will stop right now) all right, then! before I plopped out but now I really saw it. The light was blue-white in color it seemed to flouress rather than radiate, except from the bottom. I know you don’t know the bottom of what.

Well, the “what” is a doughnut. The top and bottom surfaces are mostly flat and the inside hole and outside surface are slanted wider at the bottom than the top. It has no real boundries and is filled with souls, energy seeds, entiteis or anyother pronoun you want to represent all the people who ever lived. They were in the light that was the doughnut.

GOD made the light not because he MADE it but he is IT!. Think about a torus (doughnut) cut it and uncurl it and you have a cylinder. Suppose it is hollow. Slice it once end to end, flatten it out and you have a rectangle.

Consider that each corner of the rectangle is exactly the same spot in space. (you may have to remember that when you put it back together it is a torus again to get that). Now all the people from all time were in the torus and they all knew what every other one knew all at the same time.

If one had a thought all had a thought. And believe me they thought a lot..all of them. True thoughts, good thoughts. I don’t want to do it here but ... there was no evil there, therefore no good, but all was good. Just pretend it makes sense. I could see, taste, feel, hear, know that there was a purpose, that there is eternity, that you never get bored, and that after you really enter the light you NEVER come back. Never found out what the purpose was.

I was near it. I could feel GOD. I was drawn to it. I wanted it. A person or St. Peter like entity said I couldn’t go into the light until I decided whether I wanted to stay. Bummer. I just wanted to ask a couple of questions and rest awhile. There was the most wondrous peace, the deepest unity, and the greatest serenity anyone has ever known just a few steps away and I could not go there until I decided.

The two really washed out watercolor images of me began to argue to stay or go back to earth. Hold in mind that some can never stay, some cant go back and some like me have to choose. Well as you see I came back.

Why. you ask. Well, one of the images of me, the one on the left, showed me some of the wonders that could be had on earth alive, like sex and key lime pie, and PROMISED that if I went back I would be guaranteed another chance to die...so get the D ticket ride and the E ticket for the price of one. I came back...today I don’t know why I did not stay. I do know that I can not do anything to force myself to die or I may not get back to where I want to go.

Since then, I have been in a car wreack that totalled a Chevy Belaire with three end over end flips, I had a diving accident that fractured my first cervical vertabre and several other strange things and I am still here. I don’t know why. Where is the enlightenment, the great deed to do, the great love? I just want to go back and give up all this crap with computers, credit cards, garbage dumps and all the shit. But guess what! You aint getting off this rock one second before GOD says you can go..

Why don’t we tell others about this kind of experience? You won’t believe it is why. But you see. you are at a disadvantage because I did it, I felt it, I saw it, and you only think about it. I no longer care if anyone or everyone believes it. I don’t care if it is oxygen starvation or a real soul. I just don’t care. You cannot argue the point because you don’t see the point, only those who want to get back know the facts. PS: I was in a pain relief class that used self hypnosis and tempature related bio-feedback to relieve pain.

Once, just before I stopped playing games with my head, I raised the temperature of the middle finger on my left hand to 101 degrees. Core temp is only 98. During that process I had slowed everything down so far that I began to feel the way I felt near the light. It scared me so that I do not do biofeed back anymore. Thats it. aint much and I am as confused as ever, but its my story and I an sticking to it. Want to bitch.. send it to (deleted). See Ya!
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